Hey friends! how has the lockdown been? Was going through my diary and I saw this post I wrote some years ago on friendship, I feel this will help in many ways. I decided to share today, Please schedule some time on it.
HOW CAN I MAKE FRIENDS?
Be likeable: Practice being the kind of person people like.
Take The Risk: Risk making the first move. Introduce yourself first.
Don’t expect anyone to be perfect. Accept human differences and limitations.
Practice conversation: Talking to each other.
HOW DO I MAINTAIN FRIENDSHIP?
1.Develop attitude of acceptance: Do not chase your friends away because of an exhibition of a wrong behavior or attitude which you don’t like. Remember, you can change them to your taste by the leading of the Holy Spirit.
2.The concept of value. This is to be given an impression that you are not easily replaceable. The highest psychological need is to feel loved, appreciated and valued.
3.Define and clarify motives, roles and expectations.
4.Develop mutual attraction: Get attracted to him/her as a friend.
5.Develop genuine openness: This might be risky but since your friend is a good person, the reward is very great. Share burdens together.
6.Develop appreciation , Honour and enjoyment: Delight in the success of your friend. “Friendship doubles our joy and divides our grief” (Anonymous)
But, any seemingly friendship without love is a compendium of wickedness in disguise. Love and friendship are inseparable. There is no friendship without love and no love survives without friendship. Thus, let’s discuss…
LOVE AS A PILLAR OF FRIENDSHIP
“Love” here means “The Love of God”(The Agape love); not the lust(eros) we have in the world today. Love is one of the attributes of Christ. He said in John 3:35, “By this all men will know that you are my disciple, if you love one another”.
Every friendship that has love goes well but without love, friendship is bound to divide. Friendship mixed with love is true friendship. Even when there is misunderstanding, the bound of love and understanding tends to bring true friendship to normalcy.
Jesus is the greatest lover who ever lived.
He saved the world at the expense of his life.
He prayed for his enemies even on the cross.
He forgave Peter after the denial on His way to the cross.
He taught love to enemies (Matt. 5:9-12)
He admonishes us to pray for our enemies for them to keep away from evil.
Jesus in love healed the sick without receiving anything from them.
Jesus in love forgave and set free the adulterer who was brought to Him by the Pharisees. He told her, “Go home and sin no more”
HOW CAN I DEMOSTRATE PRACTICAL LOVE TO GAIN FRIENDSHIP?
Care for your neighbors.
Reach out to widows, orphans and destitute around you (James 1:27)
Forgive your offenders (Matt. 5:22-26)
Love your enemies and do good to those that hate you (Matt 5:24-26)
Pray for others especially those who love you; not forgetting those who hate you. This is because in the Scripture, we saw that Job got healed when he prayed for his three (3) friends.
Share God’s Word to the ignorant and sinners.
Do not criticize sinners even when you have preached to them.
Forsake anger to your friends. It can destroy and even kill. Do not let your anger extend more than necessary.
GOD GAVE US ACCESS TO FRIENDSHIP
Jesus told His disciples, including you and I, to love one another. Love is the pillar of friendship. God is love. Therefore, God desires true friendship among us. If not, why did He call Abraham His friend?
We should be careful on the kind of friends we keep. Your friend can make you or mar you.
Love: The Agape, Storge, Eros and Philia?
Agape: This is the Divine love, the unconditional love that sees beyond the outer surface and accept the recipient for whom he/she is, regardless of their flaws and short coming or faults. desire this!
Storge: It is a family or friendship kind of love. the love friends have for each other. storge is unconditional, accepts flaws and ultimately drive to forgive. It’s committed, sacrificial and makes you feel secure, comfortable and safe.
Phileo: It refers to an affectionate, warm and tender platonic love. It’s kind livens up the Agape love. It shows how you feel about someone. It is committed and chosen love. some see it as brotherly love.
Eros: Eros is a passionate and intense love that arouses romantic feelings. It is the kind that triggers “high” feeling in a new relationship. It is simply an emotional and sexual love. It may not last unless it moves notch higher because it focuses on self instead of person. As a young person avoid this because this is a shallow representation of love.
IS IT WRONG TO MAKE OPPOSITE GENDER AS A FRIEND?
This is not wrong. It depends on what is in the minds of both parties. If it is free, clear and void of immorality, it is presentable, acceptable to God. If making opposite gender as a friend is wrong, why then did God make males and females? The problem is that of orientation. Many people have polluted and poisoned friendships. Some others abuse relationships, especially among opposite sex. And this has resulted into many problems among our youths today.
Friendship is not for immorality. Friendship should be a tool for total transformation of lives.
FRIENDSHIP OUGHT TO…
Help your destiny.
Encourage you to achieve your purpose in life.
Motivate your life and push you forward.
Guide you to succeed.
Lead you to God; if you have not done so.
Transform positively your financial life and rescue you from poverty and frustration.
“A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend; one human soul who can trust utterly; who know the best and worst of us. In spite of all our faults, who speaks the honest truth to us, while the world flatters us to our face, and laughs at us behind our back? Who will give us counsel and reproof in the day of prosperity and self-conceit? Who will cheer us in the day of difficulty and sorrow, when the world leaves us alone to fight our own battles as we can?” Charles Kingsley asked.