In this series, I’ll be discussing extensively on the next step to breaking free from the deadly monster: Addiction.
There are many in the society today who started using substances like alcohols, cigarettes, marijuana, drugs etc, or indulged in addictive behaviors like sex, gambling, pornography, masturbation, kleptomania etc, because someone caused them to, either by force or by persuasion.
As a matter of fact, some ladies in the society today who are addicted to sex is due to a repeated molestation by a parent, family, teacher or even friend at an early stage of life, men are not completely out of this same case scenario either. Wrong relationships had also contributed a whole lot to addictions in our society today.
Statistics have it that 9 out of every 10 addict today started before their 13th birthday, this therefore mean that these people started using, abusing or indulging before teenage and a good percentage of them are due to either an exposure or molestation by an older folk or peer group.
There was a story of a certain young boy of 7 who lived with his parent and two older adult male cousins and a female Aunty, at 7, he was already introduced to pornography by his male cousins whom he so much loved and respected, being the role models they were in his life, he thought whatever they told him was right and therefore followed their instructions and path, as a vulnerable young child, he was already watching naked pictures and videos from his cousins phones, this grew into a full blown addiction of masturbation and polyamory, turning him into a rapist with time and was eventually jailed for raping and molesting a young child.
By analysis, we will effortlessly blame the cousins for introducing him into such an anti-social activity, we wouldn’t be totally wrong if we did so, after-all he was just a young vulnerable boy who barely knew anything.
Also, we will put chunk of the blames on the parents, first for allowing such people into their home where they have a vulnerable son and secondly for not being observant enough to notice changes in their child’s behavior and character. This wouldn’t be a wrong shot of blames either.
But truth be told, when you grow up to the stage of differentiating good from bad effortlessly, every decision you take or decide to continue is your total responsibility. If at that stage of awareness and knowledge of good and bad, you decide to choose a particular path, then you’re liable for any consequence thereafter.
It is quite understandable that someone introduced the habit to you, maybe a parent, a family, a teacher, a friend as we may have it, or probably you’re a victim of circumstance due to an ugly incidence of the past which was beyond your control, that all results into you being addicted, the bitter truth however is; at this point in time your past matters less, especially for the fact that you cannot do anything about it any longer, life moves forward not backwards, what matters therefore is the present and your future that lies ahead.
Now that you’re older, are you still subscribing to the wrong decisions people made on your behalf in the past? Continuing in your habits simply means you’re in tandem with the decisions made for you in the past, so stop explaining away why you do what you do.
Stop giving excuses, stop justifying your actions, you can now make decisions, so what is your own take? What do you think of the product of the decisions made on your behalf in the past? Is it still worth running with such goal or are you making a contrary decision?
Stop blaming circumstances and take responsibility, stand up to your fears and face it. Blaming your habit on someone else does not make it less of what it is in reality, it will only end up giving you a moral justification to keep damaging yourself by indulging in it, so stop blaming your actions and inaction on someone else, you are no longer that young innocent child that was molested, abused or introduced against will or due to vulnerability, you’re now an adult, who is responsible for all you do. So take responsibility to move on with your life.
Your past can no longer be changed but you can decide to change what you do this moment so as to have a desired future. Stop living in your past and face reality, be truthful to yourself, tackle your problems and be responsible for them all.
It appears the phrase ‘be responsible’ had appeared too often and is already ringing in your head, most people had overtime taken the wrong step in a bid to ‘being responsible’ and had actually towed the wrong path with the wrong approach, all in the name of taking responsibility. Being responsible is very different and as a matter of fact an opposite of feeling and being guilty. The former is a step to positivism while the latter is a step to the negative end.
Some people had misplaced and misunderstood this concept, interpreted it in the wrong way, being one major reason why people grow from being addicted to being depressed and then finally death. Completing the full cycle of addiction itself.
USE/INDULGING ADDICTED DEPRESSED DEATH.
Being responsible does not also mean you should shift zones for the reasons you give yourself to continue your addictions. Don’t shift for example the reason why you smoke from because you were introduced by another person to because you’re an adult (I smoke because Mr. A introduced me into it, but now I smoke because I’m an adult) this is never in any way taking responsibility.
Be careful, even if you’re the reason for your addictions, what has happened has already happened, and like I said earlier, you cannot change your past but you can do a lot about the future. Don’t see yourself as less a human, No! That is not taking responsibility, you’re not a monster, you’re still you, only with an extra habit that is not all that good due to a change in mindset, be perpetually positive about yourself, you may be a victim today but you’re sure on your way to victory, your destination. Envisage your futuristic victory and make it a reason to keep pushing.
Do not allow small minds to conquer your big dreams of life, keep living with a purpose.
Forgive yourself for doing whatever you did; also forgive anyone who introduced you to your addictions, you’ll need that peace of mind very well. We are humans, and as such we make mistakes to learn better, learn from this mistake to correct an impending futuristic one beforehand. It is very possible the things you did, or your addictions affected others around you, where necessary, seek forgiveness from such people, promise them a change in attitude, this will give you a reason to stay sober because they’ll be on the watch out for you. Don’t expect people to jump and believe in your change on sight, give them benefits of doubts, mind you, they’ll act as a check, this will be a very salient help for you since you wouldn’t want to act contrary to your resolutions and promises made earlier to them.
Let me know how this blessed you on the comment session, for counselling contact me @admin